Posts Tagged ‘Fail’

The Curse of the Cure!

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Sometimes, a soap curing can be it’s death. Colour wise that is. Although this batch was doomed from the get go (riced, smooshed into the mold, tried to over heat, etc), it came out pretty enough for me to hope it would pull through.

The fragrance could have been bottled and sold as perfume, it was divine! Sadly, the curse of the cure turned this pretty soap into the morning after, make up less scary monster!

The colours darked, the mass of air bubbles (due to pounding this soap into the mold with my fist), the ash. This is the definition of Fugly. But it still smells SO good!

Mystery Soap Coolah Creations

ShareSometimes, a soap curing can be it’s death. Colour wise that is. Although this batch was doomed from the get go (riced, smooshed into the mold, tried to over heat, etc), it came out pretty enough for me to hope it would pull through. The fragrance could have been bottled and sold as perfume, it…

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Liquid Soap Making – The Beginnings!

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Liquid Soap …. SUCKS!!!

I decided that this weekend was going to be liquid soap making weekend!! I managed to find a place about twenty minutes away from me that sells potassium hydroxide (aka liquid soap lye) which saves on postage and picked up a wee little kilo of it to give it a go.

I had been reading up on it all and was excited to give it a go. I had worked out my recipe and the method by which I wanted to cook it all, so Friday I jumped in! Admittedly, I went in cocky. I make CP soap – I can do this! Pssht! That’s like saying a fisherman can operate a submarine! (You know, coz they both go in water…)

Day 1.

I decided to attempt something new even with kids in the house. I only did so because of the time length involved and the knowledge that if I needed to stop at any point, I could do so safely. Unlike my bar soaps, liquid soaps takes hours (days!) to do and the first stage is anywhere from two to ten hours cooking in a slow cooker. No having to measure, mix and pour all in one hit.

As I measured my oils into the slow cooker bowl, I noticed that my thoughts of doing a small batch to start with wasn’t the best idea when I was using a five litre slow cooker. The oils barely covered the bottom and would be near on impossible to stick blend safely. So, I quickly doubled my recipe.

This is where I am ashamed to admit my rookie mistake. I doubled my oils, but then forgot to run my recipe back through my lye calculator and instead, used the original lye amount. Bow Boooooow. It took a bit to work out why my soap was still milky white after three hours.

Batch trashed.

Day 2.

It’s Saturday. The kids were dropped off to their dads the night before so I enjoyed a slight sleep in. After waking, I realised that I am either a hard core soap addict, or just completely have my priorities the wrong way round – I get my second batch of soap prepped BEFORE having breakfast.

I ran it all through my calculator again and am satisfied that my recipe is correct this time. I measure everything out and begin the cooking process. It runs a lot smoother this time and I watch it all go through it’s predictable and recorded stages until it becomes translucent as the books say it will. Woo Hoo!

This is where I come unstuck. The soap at this stage is a thick, taffy like paste. In order for it to be liquid soap, you need to dilute it. But, I hadn’t worked out how much water I needed to dilute it, and none of my notes explain the process to work it out. They all had recipes to follow which told you how much to add, but I had made my own recipe.

Not to mention everyone else works in ounces and in backwards upside down land, we work in grams. I ended up finding some Aussie notes that explained the process:

We recommend using the 35% water rate for KOH (liquid soap) recipes to liquify your caustic. The dilution water rate should be the initial water rate x 6 (minimum) or x 8 (maximum).

That made sense!! I worked out my water amount and it ended up being close to 4kgs of water. Yikes!! At the same time as I had found those notes, I had asked in a soaping group I am apart of how to work out a 30% dilution rate and had been given the answer of just over 500 grams. Eeeerm… 500g? 4kgs? Big difference.

So, freaking out that I had poured too much water in, I tipped three quarters out. Then wondered why my soap paste resisted diluting like a delinquent teenager.

Batch, binned.

I also learned that you don’t try to dilute your soap paste in cold (yes, refrigerated) water. You end up with your spoon stuck to the soap, that is stuck to the container. Doh! Re-reading my notes I realised boiling water. Aaaaah. Lightbulb!

I’m also iffy on the whole ‘one part paste – two parts water’ for the test dilution. I watched a YouTube video where they only grabbed the tiniest amount of soap paste for a test… trying to work that one out.

Day 3.

I woke up late after a pour night’s sleep and after a quick, unsatisfiying breakfast, I began the arduous task of cleaning up the kitchen from the mess created the day before. There was taffy like soap goop on the bench, on the outside of the slow cooked and amassed in the slow cooker bowl.

I managed to get everything cleaned up and was ready to take on attempt number three, I printed my record sheet out, weighed the pot and wrote it down. The same steps I had done two days previous. As I did so it occurred to me that it was unlikely the bowl had in fact lost or gained any weight over night. It’s ceramic. I’m an idiot. (I used the exact same pot all 3 attempts… )

I added ingredient after ingredient, just like I had done the two days prior. Happy with hitting the exact gram weight for all but the coconut oil (four grams over) I transfered the bowl from the scales to the slow cooker container and turned it on.

BOOM!! Sparks flew everywhere!!

“FRACK!!!”, exited my mouth.

What in the hell just happened?? I quickly turned the slow cooker off and realised that it had blown up on me. Oh my! Three or four times I tried to get up the guts to turn it back on, but being the wuss I am, pulled back before reaching the dial. I grabbed a hand towel to protect my hand – yes, like that was going to stop me dying from electrocution. *eye roll*

I leaned forward and turned it on.

Nothing.

Off. On. Off. On. Off-on-off-on. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Well phooey! My slow cooker was dead. “Craaaaaaaap” I assume it’s due to soap or water getting into the base from when the batch over flowed or from when I was cleaning it. Or both.

After my heart resumed it’s normal beating rhythm, I grabbed the second slow cooker I had – that silly little thing that was one day waiting to cook actual food. I began scraping all of my oils into the back up plan and realising that some were being left behind, thought to myself that, ‘(a) that extra four grams of coconut oil was actually a bonus, and (b) I am so smart, I can just weigh the pot and it should equal the oil amount, right?’

It was then that it came to my attention that the back up pot was smaller. Meaning it would weigh less. “Craaaaaap”

After resetting the electrical box (thank goodness for safety switches), I hesitantly put the new slow cooker on. No light on the front, but I’ll assume it’s working. I chuckled to myself that it was only yesterday I was thinking I should look for a spare bowl for my slow cooker so I could make batch after batch without having to wait for it to be clean. Looky that, I just created a spare bowl! HA! Not funny…

Like the day before, the soap batter went through all the required stages including hitting the taffy – rock like taffy – softer taffy stages and eventually translucent. After approximately three and a half hours I was ready to start diluting. Only this time – I would do little bits at a time.

250g of boiling water added.

*poke poke, prod prod*

Another 250g of boiling water added.

Now I realise that liquid soap takes levels of patience my brain just can not comprehend, but after nearly an entire day I was ready to rush it along. I grabbed my stick blender and tried not to kill it breaking up the paste. This would then later prove a nearly pointless task as the taffy was in fact that silver liquid terminator guy and would congeal back together after a few minutes. Grrr…

Today (technically day 4), I have been seeking out my fellow soap makers to try and help me see where I am going wrong and after showing pictures of what I was working with, was told to add more water. Enter another 250g of boiling water – bringing the grand total of 750g of water to approx 1.9kgs of soap paste.

From there, it went ok. More of the goop broke down and I ended up just scooping off the last bit. I poured what was left into some plastic pitchers and stared it down. I had either made liquid soap…. or Guinness.

Now goat’s milk will make the soap go brown. Not worried about that as I’m after the quality, not the clarity. Cocoa Butter will make a soap go cloudy, so I assume that’s why you can’t see the pint size Guinness confused drunkard I buried in the middle of each jug.

The only problem I have with it, is it’s watery thin. After doing LOTS of research and reading, that’s a normal trait amongst ‘real’ liquid soap and is usually overcome by a thickening agent. The common one – borax. Hrm… not really an ingredient I am happy to use.

I am tempted to use an ‘out of the book’ recipe tomorrow – including it’s borax – just to see if it’s something I am doing specifically, or just that I haven’t learned enough to wing the process with my own recipe / dilution rates. The one I have even gives you how much water to add in order to dilute. Coolah proof!!

The Weekend Wrap Up:

1 x Blown up Slow Cooker.
1 x Broken Stick Blender.
3 x Batches of Ruined Liquid Soap
Immeasurable levels of frustration.

Tomorrow morning after Kinder drop off I will be picking up some borax and giving it yet another go. I’m stubborn. I simply can NOT let this rest until I beat it. That’s how I got the nickname Soapinatrix – if you don’t do what I want, I bring out the whips until you do!!!!

Picture Gallery of Failure:

The beginning of the first batch, when my hope was still high!

I thought this stage was cool – one I don’t normally see with my CP soaps. But this is the start of ‘gelling’ and the soap reminded me of chewy caramel!! Caustic, burn your tongue right off but calorie free chewy caramel.

If any of my non soap maker readers get confused when I talk about ‘gelling’ – this is what I am talking about. It’s cooking the soap all the way through. This is a ‘full gel’ meaning that all of the soap has been cooked through … right to the edges.

For my liquid soap, this is what I was looking for. The soap begins to go translucent and starts to losen up again. Trying to stir it between gel and the ‘taffy’ stage was near on impossible!

Coming unstuck. I kept ending up with this hard bubble crust on top. Was driving me nuts as every time I would stir it in, it would re-appear!! But I think I got my answers to all that today and am curious to see if I can avoid it tomorrow.

I WILL master liquid soap! And I WILL master goat’s milk liquid soap that is what people would expect (thick and gel like, not too dark, etc). Once I set my mind to something I don’t give up!! Like…. EVER!

Welcoming ALL comments, tips, tricks, advice from any fellow liquid soap makers. It’s the dilution part I am really coming unstuck. How much water to add, how long it takes to dissolve, do I stir it periodically or just ignore it like the weird kid at school, etc, etc. Oh… and how to thicken it !!

Guinness Liquid Soap - Coolah Creations

ShareLiquid Soap …. SUCKS!!! I decided that this weekend was going to be liquid soap making weekend!! I managed to find a place about twenty minutes away from me that sells potassium hydroxide (aka liquid soap lye) which saves on postage and picked up a wee little kilo of it to give it a go….

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From Failure to Fugly!

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I’m not too sure what compelled me to have a go at gelling my soap the other week, but I did. I remember having over-heating problems in the beginning and once I discovered the freezer, I just never looked back. But, lately I’ve been wanting to de-mold quicker, cut quicker and see if there really is a noticeable difference in the smoothness of a gelled vs non-gelled bar of soap.

So, I gelled.

And, I failed.

Nope, I don’t make a habit of smearing jam all over the top (or in fact, the bottom) of my soaps. That’s overheating goop! Gross, jelly like, makes you dry reach just thinking about it, stinky goop!

Because all my soaps are milk soap, that adds to the heat factor and thus, can make gelling a little trickier. BUT I soaped cool – cold in fact!! My lye mixture was chilled, my mold was chilled, my oils were cool. Yet still, it overheated. Damnit! Perhaps coming into Summer isn’t the best time to start experimenting with gelling perfections?

After a quick autopsy, the entire loaf was binned. RIP Black Raspberry Vanilla loaf…

Thankfully, I’m smart! *taps temples knowingly* I only attempted to gel one out of three of my loaves. So, the other two were removed from the freezer, thawed and demolded. That’s about where my smarts ended. Or, I guess more specifically, my faith in my cats behaving ended….

See the wickedly cool paint splatter top I did? See how awesomely white my goat’s milk titanium dioxide free soap is? See the corner where I dropped the loaf moving it? Doh!!

Having a few ‘issues’ that day already, I decide it’s a good time to leave the house. The cats, the kids, the soap… something was going to cop it. So, we left…

And… we returned.

See that? The completely smooshed up corner? Want to know what I call that?! Either Max, or Coolah!! Otherwise known as ‘YOU FLIPPING CATS!!!!!’

That is the soap crash courtesy of shit-head one and shit-head two getting up on the kitchen bench while I was out all afternoon. It’s bad enough that one loaf overheated and had to be binned – but then my two ‘still soft from not being gelled’ loaves got knocked over by two poo heads claiming starvation and looking for food where they know they’re not allowed.

Unsure what to do with the non damaged sections, I decided to pick them up and try to save what I could. Because it had been tipped over, the loaf lying down hadn’t dried properly from the condensation that occurs due to freezing/thawing. This, combined with my butter fingers resulted in a dropped loaf onto the bench. Other end damaged.

No worries, I still had the samples. Oh wait, I left those in the mold until they were completely thawed, forgot they were still soft and now those are all smooshed too. Oh yeah, and I remember now, that was the last of my best selling fragrance!!!

With two damaged loaves and “bits” of sample soaps and such, I decided this was going to be a good soap batch to have a play with the embeds idea I had. There was absolutely NO love left for this batch, so who cared if it failed.

And fail, it did. The idea in my head – awesome. The result? Fugly!

The orange one definitely came out better than the green, but still, not as I had pictured it. Below is the rough idea (I have about 10 different pictures similar I looked at) of what I had in mind when I was creating it. Bear in mind that the below pic is made via a different technique/soap type…

Oh well. As I had no attachment to the failed batch, I don’t really care that it turned out fugly. Some nice cheap soap that no one will worry about using due to being “too pretty” lol. Scented with Pearberry (green) and Fruit Tingle (Orange), at worst they can go as freebies/samples alongside orders or such.

Of course now I am absolutely determined to do it right aren’t I? I’m such a glutten for punishment and frustration.

Failure-1

ShareI’m not too sure what compelled me to have a go at gelling my soap the other week, but I did. I remember having over-heating problems in the beginning and once I discovered the freezer, I just never looked back. But, lately I’ve been wanting to de-mold quicker, cut quicker and see if there really…

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When inspiration just isn’t enough.

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I’m a link jumper. When browsing the internet, I repeatedly find myself clicking links. It’s like Chinese whispers of web browsing. Goat’s Milk Soap ~> Owning a goat ~> Baby Goats ~> pictures of cute baby goats ~> How the migratory south-western red-knuckled ticks affect wild goats and what you can do to help. Erm.

By the end of it, I have no idea where I am and vague memories of how I got there. No less than 25 tabs are open and I have completely forgotten what I was searching for to begin with. People are more familiar with this happening on YouTube. You start off watching a funny complication of home video slips ups and before you know it you’re watching something on a pig giving birth to a human like baby in Mexico. “Er, I’m on the weird side of YouTube again aren’t I?”

The other night I was random link jumping and came across an etsy page of fascinating soaps with such amazing detail I was truly inspired. The page was Pure Heart Soap and you can see them on Etsy here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/PureHeartSoap

While not agreeing with their ‘affordable’ statement, $36 for four soaps is just way out of my purse’s reach, I do agree that their soaps are amazing for the amount of details and work that has gone into them. Hense, the price. An example, and the first one I found in their line,  was the Barnyard Cow:

I spent a good half hour admiring their work. The following day when I opened up my fragrance cupboard, I was instantly inspired to try something similar myself. Bonsai!! An awesome scent that practically threw itself at me from the cupboards, was my initial inspiration. “Create a soap that looks like a bonsai!” I thought to myself. I also thought how appropriate because if you shout ‘Bonsai’ with the right force and slight Asian accent, it’s like the soaping term for either:

  • Charging into something…. “BONSAAAAAAIIIIII!!!!!”
  • Jumping off something… “Boooooooooooooooooooooonsai”

That thought, that inspirational, “I’m going to make a kick ass detailed soap” thought, was as good as it got. Like the best slide in the park, everything went down hill so fast a small squeal sliped out. I squealed a few times actually. Grown up squeals. They begin with F and rhyme with truck. Once it even rhymed with TRUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!

First, I planned it out. I googled for images of Bonsai trees, studied them, blocked out the internal voices laughing at me for even thinking of attempting something so complicated as a first attempt, and drew a mock up of what I would need to cut out to make it all so.

After that I poured small, thin squares of the different colours I would need – brown for the trunk, green for the trees, blue for the sky. Back to studying the images while those cooled and then I was off!

First thing I noticed – the mess!! I would mark out the area I wanted to cut with a pencil, then I would use my soap cleaning tool to make the cuts. This created SO much mess. Soap “scraps” doesn’t even cover this disaster.

Second thing I realised was that I had poured the soap squares too thick. While this would help to provide some depth to the picture, it also made it a lot harder to cut. Especially when I was wanting to do small branches and fine bends.

This was followed instantly by the third realisation. I suck at drawing tree’s.

I remelted and tried again… and again… aaaand again. Melt, pour, cut, curse. Melt, pour, cut, curse. Eventually I came up with something mildly tree like.

After the first hurdle was done, it was time to get the tree limbs set into more soap. Although by this stage I was thinking that perhaps this could just be a new invention of ‘puzzle’ soap and people receive each part individually. Surely that would catch on, right? No? Don’t think so…?

After pouring some clear soap in my mold, I popped in the pieces and just crossed my fingers they would stick. That wasn’t the end of the frustrations however…

I created two shades of blue for the sky to add realism. You know, just in case anyone mistook the bonsai tree for a fake as it looked so realistic. *chuckle, snort*. For some reason, the two shades of blue had problems with each other and the light blue completely dominated the darker blue. One the back it looked fine. On the front, nothing but light blue. Phooey.

The back:

Aaaaaand, the front:

All light blue. Bugger. This also shows the two bonsai tree’s that were the result of a weekend of frustration.

Just in case anyone isn’t familiar with a bonsai tree, here is what they are meant to look like:

The picture doesn’t show it, but bonsai tree’s are small trees. Teeny, tiny trees. Most of them under 30cm tall. The size of my soaps should have reflected that. Instead the largest one is near life size! The image of a petite little tree design on a soap was left squashed and trampled under the ‘made for a giant’ soaps crushing my dining room table. Ok, perhaps not that big, but still, big! Way bigger than they were meant to be.

I learned a lot of lessons over the weekend though. The most important is that everyone has their special abilities and making detailed soaps like the ones that inspired me, is just not my thing. I will likely try it again in the future so it helped to learn that even at 1cm, the soap was too thick to work with easily, and that simple shapes are better to work with.

I also learned that my “special” soap trick is a more impressionist style painting soap picture. First was Sea Breeze, then Twilight Woods and now … Tropical Coconut!

 It’s meant to look like sand, that green coloured water only ever seen on post cards of tropical beaches, blue sky, yellow sun and of course the palm tree. I’m pretty chuffed with how it turned out!

I followed this up with Caramel Apple Cider and a CP soap designed to look like an apple tree:

Not bad for a first time attempt with batter than moved quicker than I had anticipated. Quite pleased with it! Reminds me of a tree you would see in Alice of Wonderland for some reason…

Bonsai

ShareI’m a link jumper. When browsing the internet, I repeatedly find myself clicking links. It’s like Chinese whispers of web browsing. Goat’s Milk Soap ~> Owning a goat ~> Baby Goats ~> pictures of cute baby goats ~> How the migratory south-western red-knuckled ticks affect wild goats and what you can do to help. Erm. By the end…

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Oil Slick Dead Ahead Captain!!

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Cheesecake. Yum, right? Baked or chilled. French Vanilla or Raspberry. I would hesitate a guess that 99% of the population likes a cheesecake of some sort. My grandma used to make the best cheesecake around!

I can make cheesecake… soap! Or, so I thought. Perhaps less soap, more oil slick. Oil and cheesecake are not two words that belong in the same sentence! So, what the hell is this?!

Gross huh? This was the first batch of soap I made with the cheesecake fragrance that I drooled all over when I first smelt it. It’s the same soap recipe that I’ve used with all my batches this past week – dare I claim it my ‘finally found my perfect base recipe’ recipe? Although I’m still waiting to test a bar in the shower (damn cure time), so far it’s poured fantastically, set up beautifully and cut divinely! AND it even makes a really light bar thanks to finding a super light, yet non virgin olive oil! I like my oils slutty…

The only difference with this batch was I popped it into a cooling oven to force gel through. The oven was still warm as I had cooked lunch that day – perhaps that just shocked the shit out of the soap given I don’t normally “cook”? The process is known as CPOP – cold process, oven process. Sounds technical, really isn’t. Soap is made the same way, yet instead of leaving it on the bench to cool, you leave it in an oven that’s turned off but still warm. This forces the soap to go through a ‘gel’ phase which doesn’t always happen if left to it’s own devices on the bench.

Pulling the soap out of the oven after a couple of hours, the top had a layer of clear liquid. I assumed it was just relating to the added head and assumed it would soak back in. Like Shell, I just hoped it would disappear (oooooh, no you didn’t girlfriend!). Frustratingly, it didn’t. It only got worse and more noticeable!

After conferencing with my fellow soapies on what it might be and what I should do about it, the consensus was … wait. Just wait. So I waited… and waited. Nothing changed. Today I realised nothing was going to change, so I might as well see if I can salvage it.

Um…

Say it with me… “EEEEEEwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!” My inner child flashed in for just a split second and thought about flinging the snot like substance across the room. Thankfully the parent in control knew she didn’t want to clean it up.

It. Felt. Gross! Like cold, runny, petroleum jelly. And rinsing my hand under the tap only washed the surface and instead left my fingers with a super slippery, greasy film. Oh gag it was disgusting!

The middle photo (above) is the oil slick cleaned up. But the top was still shiny.

No batch enters the bin without being dissected first! This is what I consider a soap autopsy. I couldn’t help but wonder if the entire oil slick was sucked out of my oatmeal base – it was dry and crumbly beyond expectation! Given the batch was gelled, if anything the oats should have been soft and ‘cooked’.

Those swirls (are they called swirls when they look like that? No actual ‘swirl’ to them?) are awesome, sad that they are being binned. But the entire batch has a sunken arch after wiping the goo away.

The complete disappearing act of my cheesecake fragrance has made it easier to bin. So sad that an ENTIRE bottle was made into two batches and both failed, miserably. Batch number two (pictured below) was the exact same recipe, same fragrance, everything. The only difference was it went into the cooling oven second and as a result didn’t stay in the heat as long. It still ended up with a slight oil slick however:

This would rate more in the ‘oopsie’ oil spill ranks… compared to the “omg the baby seals” that the first batch was!

Unfortunately cutting this batch also revealed another fail… and worse, upon cutting it, one of the hidden oil pustules POPPED! Like a pimple, it popped. Oh gag, gag, gag!

See the top middle photo? That’s the popping pimple of puss like oil! Nothing like pushing your knife into your SOAP and feeling like you’re dealing with a pre-pubescent teenager! It’s worse than my spots… my spots never POPPED!

I think I need a shower…

Oil-Slick-Batch-1-Photo-2

ShareCheesecake. Yum, right? Baked or chilled. French Vanilla or Raspberry. I would hesitate a guess that 99% of the population likes a cheesecake of some sort. My grandma used to make the best cheesecake around! I can make cheesecake… soap! Or, so I thought. Perhaps less soap, more oil slick. Oil and cheesecake are not…

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Easter Frustrations!!

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I had a plan. An Easter plan. AND IT’S NOT WORKING!!!

I wanted to put together little Easter ‘packs’ for kids – a cute little tub, some chocolate scented Easter egg shaped soaps, a bunny cupcake and a couple of real Easter eggs tucked away in these awesome plastic ones I found. I had the whole thing set out in my mind and it looked AWESOME!

But the Universe doesn’t like my idea! It doesn’t agree with the image in my head. It’s NOT playing fair!

The Bunny cupcakes are working out WAY better than I thought!

Originally I wasn’t happy with the shape of the bottom portion, but purposely shortening it (not pouring as much soap in) made it look one hundred times better! So that solved that. /triumph

The Googly eyes were way better than my painted attempt and the nose, well, it’s passable. It’s a bit odd how far it protrudes out from the face, but I swear I heard a whimper when I considered shaving it back.

The whiskers are still the bunny bane and are ticking me off. I don’t have a steady hand which makes painting them on straight nearly impossible, and because of the way the mold is, they are raised from the rest of the face, so the ‘too wet’ paint tries to run off if tilted 0.0001% the wrong way!

I wanted to go up to the craft store to get thin wire and do them that way, but then realised that kids + wire = not smart. Still thinking on that one…

The Soap Eggs however, are what’s really bringing an end to the ‘idea’. They are just not working!!

1st Attempt = Slowly pour the detail soap in.
Result: MASSIVE FAIL! The soap went everywhere, over-poured the details and generally made a huge mess of it all.

2nd Attempt = Use the Soap Syringe
Result: FAIL! Again, the soap over-poured the details and made a big mess. My second and a half (or technically 3rd) attempt saw me put even less soap in the details and try to swirl the mold around to spread it – that just ticked me off! I would get one part working, but in trying to get the other sections right, the first one would spill everywhere.

There was at least one moment where I swirled the mold around like it was caught in a hurricane while grunting and cursing. Gee, wonder why that didn’t work? /ponder I bet I looked like a complete dick head as well!

3rd Attempt = Soap Paint
Result: High hopes… but fail. I tried painting the details on after I poured the soap but it didn’t really work. If you want to experience my frustrations, grab some oil paint and try to recreate something by Van Gogh on your cleanest pane of glass. Grrr.

Then I had an idea! What if I painted the soap paint right into the mold (silicone has better ‘stick’ than fresh soap) and then poured the soap in. So I spent all day yesterday, straining the back and my eyesight to paint the fine details of my Easter egg mold. I had to let each layer dry before I could paint the next and it literally, took me all day!

After the painted sections had dried, I carefully poured in my soap and let it sit over night. I removed them this morning and although some of the paint had stained the soap with it’s colour and pattern, all the paint remained firmly in the mold. GRAH!!

It was right about then that I cracked it, big time! I twisted and turned the mold wanting to rip it in half. But the mold is silicone. If I thought I looked like an idiot yesterday, that was nothing compared to this morning. There I stood in my kitchen, still in PJs, trying to rip a RUBBER mold in half.

Twist… turn… scrunch… grunt… twist… puff… pant…. stop… sigh… put mold down… flick hair out of face triumphantly…. walk away. Mutter.

The frustrating part is I am seeing not only the exact same eggs as the mold I have out there, but other, more intricate eggs with detailing done. So I know it CAN be done, just not by me. Which is a huge blow to my confidence levels at the moment – not aided any by other soap failures I’ve experienced unrelated to the eggs.

I think it’s time to move on. I don’t have the patience levels at the moment to continue trying, and with the Easter time limit looming ever so close (having to also factor in postage time and such), I think it’s time to concentrate on something else.

It’s just SUCH a shame that I won’t get to use these guys, they are just too awesome! They’re the plastic eggs that I was going to put real Easter eggs inside.

$(KGrHqR,!o!E8Vl+tQrwBPQubUnkIw~~60_12

ShareI had a plan. An Easter plan. AND IT’S NOT WORKING!!! I wanted to put together little Easter ‘packs’ for kids – a cute little tub, some chocolate scented Easter egg shaped soaps, a bunny cupcake and a couple of real Easter eggs tucked away in these awesome plastic ones I found. I had the whole thing…

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Gremlins from Hell !! FRACK OFF!

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I’m so ticked off right now. This is me …

If I was a cat of course. Pissed off cats are NOT to be messed with. Quick, agile, claws, anger. Really? You want to mess with that? NO!! Your answer is no.

So WHY aren’t the Gremlins listening to me? WHY are they poking the pissed off cat with a pointy stick?! Whhhyyy…

Soap gremlins. For my non-soap-creating readers. Soap gremlins are the bane of all soap makers. They are invisible, they fuck with your soap, and they sit back and watch you air punch your frustrations out at the poor fairies trying to calm you down. Hey! If Gremlins exist, so … do … fairies!

Someone please tell me what this is:

What is that? What is thaaaat?! (Think Tom Hanks – League of their Own voice. “There’s no crying in baseball, there’s no cryyying in baseball.” That’s the voice running through my head when I was asking what the hell that was. I’m going to start calling the Gremlins ‘Stilwell’. Probably quite apt given the gremlins likely have their thumbs against their temples, wiggling their fingers and chanting ‘You’re gonna lose, you’re gonna lose’)

Is it tar? Is it week old custard that has been left out? Is it week old custard scraped of a freshly made tar strip while someone had a nose bleed? I know what it’s not. It’s not soap. THAT’S NOT SOAP!!

The gremlins were here all weekend – my fellow forum friends are well aware of my ‘wild weekend’. I had planned to write up a whole blog post full of amusing reflections and end it with a triumphantly perfect batch tonight. But nooooo. I get THAT! No blog post of witty remenissions. No big ‘woo hoo’ at the end. I get messy pots, cement dried spoons standing perfectly vertical inside my coloring pots that resemble road and blood.

Congratulations – you made road kill. Taa daa. Aren’t you proud mum?!

I know I shouldn’t go to bed angry, but I aint hearing no apologies coming my way. I swear if I listen hard enough, I can hear the gremlins laughing. Mocking me. Could be my neighbours, more likely the gremlins. Right about now even the fairies have started to crack up. Infectious bloody laughter.

First it was spots. Now it’s ricing / seizing. I just want soap!

ShareI’m so ticked off right now. This is me … If I was a cat of course. Pissed off cats are NOT to be messed with. Quick, agile, claws, anger. Really? You want to mess with that? NO!! Your answer is no. So WHY aren’t the Gremlins listening to me? WHY are they poking the…

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When Good Soap Goes Bad – Volcano Soap Australia

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Ok seriously – who’s sped up time? Coz there’s no way this is ‘normal’ pace, days are ending while I’m still tasting breakfast with each burp!! I either need to slow the time clock down, or figure out how to add in another 6 hours to each day. As a fan of Twilight (I’m a single female – explains enough yeah?), there is the immediate thought of becoming a Vampire. Why? Edward doesn’t sleep. Unfortunately… I’m a Jacob girl. Bugger.

I keep meaning to write blog posts, but by the time I sit down, it’s immediately followed by falling backwards and instantly loving how awesomely comfortable my bed is. I do need to get some posts up though, so, a quick recap on the past few weeks…

  • My Curing racks *cough shoe racks cough* arrived. Yipee!
    - I put the first one together. Nearly calloused my hand and dropped a piece on my foot. It had like A HUNDRED pieces!! Oh my, it took me forever. I took photos though, so will dedicate a blog post soon to that adventure.
  • I made a rainbow soap cake. It turned out awesome!
  • I took a slight break from CP soaping and enjoyed some MP fun for a bit.
  • I came back to CP soaping.
    - I cursed at a spotted batch
    - I muttered at a slightly spotted batch
    - I cheered triumphantly at a spot free batch
    - I curiously inspected a batch that seemed to have an outer border to it.
    - I tinkered with my recipe. I congratulated myself on said new recipe. I tried new recipe…….
    - I created a …. SOAP VOLCANO!!!!

And it was a doozy! (Think Ned Ryerson - Groundhog Day) I was trying a herbal tea infusion with Camomile, Honey and Vanilla. And, seeing as it had Honey in the herbal infusion, thought I would run with a Honey theme and added another teaspoon of straight Honey to the batch. Everything was going fine – although it traced very quickly.

I knew I had made a bit too much batter for the crafter’s choice loaf mold I had, so started pouring the excess into a small cupcake mold to use as samples. Right as I was finishing this up (so maybe, like, 5 minutes?) I looked over to see a massive crack forming in the loaf mold and the top rising.

*Instant Panic*

I quickly popped my bucket down and went to chuck the loaf mold in the freezer – it was overheating! Just as I grabbed it though… i came ALIVE! It started frothing over the sides at a rapid rate. Right before my eyes it grew, it spewed, it looked and smelled like caramel pudding that was baking too high for it’s container.

Unfortunately for me, I had already picked it up and as the soap mixture spewed over, it landed on my gloves. That GOD I was wearing them – important safety reminder right there folkds. Just like a real volcano, the mixture was FLIPPING HOT!!!  Like, make me sound like a mouse being choked kinda squealing under my breath hot!

Burning (heat wise) through my rubber gloves, I did that ‘stand in a spot and just turn from side to side trying to figure out what the hell to do with the hot, volcano-ing batch of soap in your hands’ move. Basically – I looked like an idiot with something hot. In my mind I was thinking “Don’t put it down on the bench!! R E N T A L PROPERTY!!! Don’t put it down on the bench woman!!”

I had my soaping cutting board handy so popping it on that and then tried to get my gloves off as fast as I could. Throwing aside my issue of needing to remove gloves without turning them inside out, I just ripped the bad boys off and tossed them, in the ball they had become, on the bench.

Then I giggled. I chucked. I laughed. “Holy Hell” I said outloud. Then, as all good photo addicts do – I grabbed the camera!

Impressive huh? And that’s it subsiding!!

If you can imagine – it started growing upwards, then split down the middle and then just kind of kept spewing ‘grobs’ of mixture over the two long sides. Over and over the globs just kept coming. All in all there was about 6 over each side from what I could tell cleaning up.

After it calmed down, it started to cool. And then, it’s ugly aftermath was revealed:

It’s like a real volcano – the awe inspiring, spectacular eruption of colour and energy. Then, the bleak, gray aftermath of everything looking the same and hard, boring rock. Thankfully for me, clean up was a case of opening the top of the rubbish bin and banging the crap out of the mold while yelling instructions of, “Get …. out… stupid… soap!”

The soap gremlins hung around for a little longer because the second batch, (yes, the gluten for punishment tried it a second time) nearly overheated as well. Although I reduced the honey, it still gelled while INSIDE THE FREEZER! O_O That’s like an Eskimo passing out from heat exhaustion! Crazy!

The third batch of the day – a much safer batch, or so I thought – nearly seized on me, instead settling for near ricing. After a go with the stick blended, it decided to finish up with a play-doh like experience, allowing me to THWAP it into the mold before ricing on the top, overheating and leaking. Mmmmm, sounds like my first car…

I’m off to bed now. Gremlins can bugger off along with my ant invasion! Tomorrow is another day… right?

ShareOk seriously – who’s sped up time? Coz there’s no way this is ‘normal’ pace, days are ending while I’m still tasting breakfast with each burp!! I either need to slow the time clock down, or figure out how to add in another 6 hours to each day. As a fan of Twilight (I’m a…

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Goat’s Milk Frustrations

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It’s been an interesting day of soaping today. It was a ‘four’ on the chocolate scale – that is, 4 chocolate were eaten before I felt over the frustrations. Don’t worry, they were just small mint patties. Not bad considering today was also one of those “ooooh myyyy gaaaaaawd, whyyyyy am I doing this stuuuuuupid diet????” days. I managed to resist take-away, even after I realised I had cooked the sausages in vegetable oil and not olive. Not a good taste let me tell you.

To kick start the fantabulous day, I unmolded my Hang with an Orangutan soap! too early, leaving the bottom and some of the sides behind in the mold. Doh! Although technically I did that yesterday, I was reminded of my impatience this morning when I moved the bars from the kitchen bench to the curing bookshelf.

Apart from looking like an aging rendered wall, the soaps are fantastic!

*little soapy voice: Well this brings waxing the bum to a whole new level!*

After having so much success, I decided to make that final step for my recipe and change the water over to Goat’s Milk.

I’m starting to develop a real love/hate relationship with goat’s milk, and it’s frustrating the hell out of me! No matter what the recipe, no matter what the additions (oats, fragrance, colour, etc), I always end up with these white spots on my soap!

They aren’t Lye. The soap doesn’t ‘zap’. From speaking to others in the soaping community, I have come to the belief they are stearic acid – normally a bi-product of oils that aren’t heated enough and solidify before soaponifying with the rest of the soap.

To me – they’re like pimples. Annoying, right before a date with a hot guy, doesn’t matter what you do to prevent them, pimples!

It’s just a cosmetic issue, there is nothing wrong with the soap. But if you had the option between kissing the hot guy, or kissing the pimply guy, well… yeah. And this is the washing your naked body option!!!

So, after yet another GM batch turned pubescent on me, I googled and googled, and read and read and once again, I feel ready to tackle another batch tomorrow with more information under my soaping apron. But since I had to wash all my soaping pots first, I decided to have my first go at rebatching soap. That is, throwing all your ‘failed’ soap into a pot and trying to mangle it into something useable.

Problem. What do you get when you take a yellow, purple and black swirled soap and mix it all down together? What happens when you mix practically ANY colour combination down into one? Brown. You get brown. Wish it was chocolate, looks more like poo, brown.

So… who wants to help me test my ‘Poo Brown Goat’s Milk soap?’ No takers… no…. none?

ShareIt’s been an interesting day of soaping today. It was a ‘four’ on the chocolate scale – that is, 4 chocolate were eaten before I felt over the frustrations. Don’t worry, they were just small mint patties. Not bad considering today was also one of those “ooooh myyyy gaaaaaawd, whyyyyy am I doing this stuuuuuupid…

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Attempting CP Soap Detailing

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Last night I decided to try and combine my love of detailed soaps, with my new found addiction of CP soap making. Result? Disaster! And one very messy kitchen… made worse by having to run off to bed early with a sick little boy :(

My original goal was to have a play with a frog on a lily pad mold I have. I had attempted it a couple of times with my MP soap and not only ended up frustrated due to the soap setting so quickly in my bowl (and having to reheat every 30 seconds), but also because it was too runny and not staying where I wanted it to. Knowing that CP soap can be made a little thicker, I thought I would give that a go.

Starting off, I was VERY pleased. The CP soap didn’t set in my injector tool like the MP did  and it stayed where it was meant to in the mold. That was doing the eyes. A 30 second task. After the kids went to bed, I started on the larger task of colouring the frogs suckers and finishing off the mold.

That… didn’t go according to plan. Here is what the mold is meant to look like:

Cute right? Well, here is what my attempt looked like… *hangs head*

That’s one-eyed Frank. The only frog that can even see. Of the four frogs the mold produces, three of the frogs were left without corneas, and Frank here only came out with one.

It all went wrong while I was doing the yellow suckers. While they were working perfectly, the rest of my mixture went hard in the pot and in a panic, I tried to remix it which resulted in something along the lines of lumpy mashed potato. Not wanting to waste perfectly usable soap, I slopped it all into the remaining molds, plus some other’s I had lying out and tried to make the best of it.

Smell – Fantastic!
Soap will be usable? Sure…
Looks? Eeerm… well, yeah.

ShareLast night I decided to try and combine my love of detailed soaps, with my new found addiction of CP soap making. Result? Disaster! And one very messy kitchen… made worse by having to run off to bed early with a sick little boy My original goal was to have a play with a frog…

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